Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Positive Side

The words in Romans 8:28 ring true to me today…..

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.”

God looks out for us, even when we have gone places He did not lead us. He helps us learn from our mistakes and turns bad situations around for our good. That's what He has done for many people who have left controlling, abusive situations. Even though we haved walked through some very difficult moments, we can now look at the positive side.

Here are some strengths I have noticed that develop in people when they leave controlling churches:

*Greater compassion and empathy towards others

*Analytical thinking (You think deeply about core concerns. From this point forward you will exercise keen judgment and discernment so you will never find yourself in the same situation again.)

*Greater level of honesty and trustworthiness (You are so disgusted at the lies, fraud, dishonesty, and even criminality that went on, it makes you resolve yourself to live in a higher degree of honor and trustworthiness. You don’t want to be anything like your former leaders.)

*Social/community activism (You are so tired of looking inward and catering to the needs of selfish leaders, you become extremely enthusiastic about reaching out and serving others.)

*Fearlessness (You have given into a bully for so long, it’s time to stand up for yourself and take a new direction. You decide no one is going to control you or stand in your way! You also decide to step out and go after your dreams.)


*Gratitude (You are so glad to be free from the control, manipulation, and harsh judgment you were under, you become more thankful even for the little things in life.)

*Inquisitiveness and curiosity (You realize it’s okay to question anything!)

*Sense of direction and purpose



*Ability to show emotion

*Ability to be yourself

*Ability to find meaning in adversity

*Ability to cope with difficulties (After all that you experienced and dealt with in a controlling church, handling the normal strains of everyday life seem like nothing. If you have survived a controlling, abusive situation, you can survive just about anything!)


lizzie said...

You have nailed it on the head,so to speak.It is so true.Experienced it myself.

Anonymous said...

It makes it so much easier to forgive ourselves for past mistakes, such as attending a controlling church, if we determine that we can learn from them. I am a different person, a much better person.
Thank you for this post.

Anonymous said...

I have experienced this. I too am a different - better person.

Anonymous said...

The most liberating aspect for me has been the ability to be myself. I held back at our former church because I didn't fit the mold. I am so glad to be out of that situation where everything I said or did had to be filtered to fit an unspoken code of acceptable behavior!

-Amy Hill

Anonymous said...

This is a great post and absolutely one hundred percent true!


Deanna said...

excellent post to which i can only add Authenticity - the real me, no more phoney baloney

Aida said...

Great list! I think, for me, I would also add the passion to tell others and to see them set free.

just me said...

it's so true. it's amazing how God will use this kind of thing to make a person better - in spite of all the hurt. thank you for this blog. it's helped me so much during a very difficult time lately.