I always pause before I push the button to publish a post. I never want to come across in an unkind or unloving way. I never want to offend or hurt anyone. I sort of feel bad when I think that I've been too strong in my writings (like my last post - yikes!), but writing things out on my blog is like a detox process for me. Reading the comments people leave is like free therapy. It sure does help when you know that someone else understands what you are going through.
I try really hard each day to move past these things and think on the things that are true, just, honest, and things that are a good report (Phil. 4:8), but sometimes I forget to do that. I called a friend the other day who left an abusive church 4 years ago. I asked her, "Will there ever come a day when I don't think about this 24/7?" She said, "It stays with you for a long time, but it does get easier." Sometimes it seems that thoughts consume my mind and I feel like I will live with this forever, but I believe there will come a day when this will be a distant memory. I trust that God will lead me and guide me and help me move past this. Is anyone else having a hard time getting past these things?
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4 comments :
Like you, it really turned around for me when I completely got away from all that foolishness. my wife and daughter stayed at our old church for a couple of weeks after I left to finish up their obligations. After we all left, it was just a matter of a couple of weeks before the chains had completely fallen off and we felt the freedom to just concentrate on JESUS and not all the junk we had been under. Life with God is so good.
Seven years out and I'm still working on getting completely free. I've found that I've had to detox and RE-discover my relationship with Jesus. I'm still working on relearning scriptures IN CONTEXT and throwing out a bunch of false teaching. Good news is, it does get easier and less painful. God is gracious and patient with us.
Keep posting. It's helping you and it's helping others like you!
Thank you C. and D. for the nice comments and the encouragement.
Years ago, while working with a denominational church, my husband and I found ourselves released from teaching a Sun. school class and working with the children's ministry after it was known we were Spirit-filled and attended meetings where the Holy Spirit moved - they obviously didn't approve.
On a Sunday morning when class teachers were announced - as children were moving up a grade level - I found out my class had ANOTHER teacher! WHY had someone not spoken to us first? The associate minister who made the announcement was my neighbor and friend. WHY had the pastor allowed this to happen? I was deeply hurt, embarrassed and furious.
My husband nicknamed me "mad dog" afterward, and the nickname was appropriate! I suppose I learned those many years ago that someone you trust is capable of hurting you - even a minister. It took a long while to get over.
I've now passed through a similar experience with you at our former church. Time will pass, it will get easier, we will become less angry, and yes, we will even work on forgiveness...the really hard part. You do not forget this type of experience, but you do learn some things through it!
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