Dear Anonymous, I feel your pain. I saw the exact same things you are seeing. It doesn't get any better. My advice to you is "Run!" It WILL affect your children. You may not see it outwardly yet, but they are being affected every day and one day they won't be able to hold it in any longer. The hypocrisy they are witnessing is confusing them, but they are afraid to voice it. They are afraid they won't be saved if they allow themselves to speak freely. Fear is being built inside of them and it will manifest one day. I saw it happen to many children in families who left our church. Some children turned to drugs to ease the pain, while others got mad and decided they wanted nothing to with God if He was anything like the "pastor" they grew up under. You and your family are in an abusive situation. If someone was physically abusing you and your children you would leave and find safety. This is no different. You and your children are being abused spiritually and mentally and sometimes that can be even worse. I encourage you to search deep within you and listen to the still small voice. See the red flags that are waving in front of you and find your place of safety. Your kids deserve a better life and they need to see the real love of God in action, not merely someone on a power trip who calls himself a man of God. The real does exist, but as long as you are there, your judgment is clouded and you will find one day that you don't even know who you really are any more. When I left my church I had to go to counseling to find myself again and I'm still dealing with it 8 years later, and worse than that, my children are still dealing with it. It's not worth it. God is love and He will not stop loving anyone for leaving a church. That's just a fear tactic used by a controlling man. I hope this helps you and I am here if you need to talk further.
Someone who knows EXACTLY what you are going through