In the book of Jeremiah, God spoke against those who operated in their own authority while abusing the very people they were supposed to bless.
"An astonishing and horrible thing has been committed in the land: the prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests rule by their own power; and My people love to have it so. But what will you do in the end?" (Jeremiah 5:30-31)
Leaders were using their influence to convince people that their power was divine. Yet in reality, these false prophets and priests were merely wielding their self-imposed influence for personal gain, claiming they were speaking for God. The people bought the lies and believed all the promises that were made. This happened in the Old Testament and it's happening today. Don't let it happen to you!
Here is a list of some common characteristics of a controlling, abusive pastor.....
*Preoccupied with his own needs being met, while the needs of the people are ignored.
*Focuses on his own never-ending quest for personal fulfillment and happiness, while the real needs of the people are lost or forgotten.
*Expects the people to obey his every command without question.
*Preaches on his spiritual authority every week, constantly reminding everyone that he is in charge.
*Tries to take the place of Jesus in people's lives.
*Tells people they cannot leave the church with God's blessing unless he approves the decision.
*Uses scripture in order to gain biblical grounds to control people's lives.
*Instills a sense of obligation by reminding the people of everything he has done for them.
*Demands loyalty and honor from the people.
*Demands performance from people, not accepting them for who they are.
*Thinks the people in his congregation belong to him.
*Manipulates people into giving their money.
*Has an elitist attitude and says that no one else is preaching the gospel as good as he is.
*Overly concerned with appearances
*Has no respect for other churches or denominations.
*Is insecure, jealous, and cowardice
*Uses fear and intimidation to keep people from leaving his organization or church.
*This information is from the book "Toxic Faith," by Stephen Arterburn & Jack Felton.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
12 comments:
Good List. Sure hits close to home when I compare to my former pastor.
Had one. Not fun!
Same here. It seems that the behavior of insecure pastors follows a pattern. Hopefully as we speak out, people will begin to see the danger signs and run, not walk, away from these type of controlling leaders.
The institutional church overall is silent about this. Thanks for all you do to increase awareness of what's going on.
Last summer my wife and I left a church where the leadership wanted to control everything. This seemed to stem from insecurity on their part. Anyone who was actively involved in the church who didn't agree with their liberal theology was made to feel unwelcome. They also seemd to not want anyone in the church who might be able to do thins better than they can. We left when things became untenable for us. good to have htis issue raised I couldn't find any web sites about it while we were in the middle of the situation. So have set one up - have linked to here from it - hope you don't mind let me know if you would like me to remove the link, site is http://www.wix.com/johnsonofadam/controllingchurchleadership
These are some of the qualities that my pastor too has. He keeps threatening that anybody who leaves the church without his decision would die and go to hell and God himself would take vengeance against such a member. I feel I'm into spiritual slavery . I have felt many times that he has manipulated scripture to meet his selfish motives. Now he wants me to move closer to his house so that he can control me more (though he gives different excuses). There are forced covenants that he has made us take regarding a business that the church should start. We are only 6 members and its a home church. I'm frustrated and can not even talk back for the fear of speaking against authority. There are times when I thought suicide would be a way out. But suicide I believe would be a direct ticket to hell so I don't dare to tale such a step. On the other hand I want to fulfill the plan and purpose for which God has sent me to the world. I'm crying out to lord to help me. Can ask you guys for prayers though.
To wounded warrior:
Your comment deeply touched me and I am concerned for you. I can really relate to what you are dealing with. I want to start out saying that I know you feel like you can't leave, but that is what you need to do. This pastor is controlling you and God Himself doesn't even do that. God gives us free will and doesn't make us do anything. This pastor is manipulating you by using fear. I was in a church for 22 years and I was afraid that if I left something bad would happen to me, but just the opposite happened when I left. I felt so free and I've never been happier. God would never send you to hell for leaving a church - He is not looking for ways to keep people out of heaven. He wants to get people in.
I know what you mean about "speaking against authority." That is just another lie controllers use to keep people under their rule. I saw things that I wanted to speak against, but I never could. If we spoke out against our pastor we would be severly rebuked, talked about from the pulpit or even made to leave. What I realized is that he had a hold over us and made us believe he was the authority, but not true! God is the only authority we are truly under and He is not a harsh ruler. He is gentle and kind. My pastor was just a punk trying to keep people under his control so he could have his way and mainly so he could get their money.
Please, please realize that God would never put that kind of pressure on you. I felt that I would have to move to another state to get away from it, but I got the courage to leave and it was the best decision I ever made. It was a hard decision and it was tough to walk through, but I can't even describe how great it feels to be out from under that control.
Please email me. I want to talk to you further. My email is:
setfree0408@gmail.com.
Wounded Warrior, your post touched my heart too and I felt the hurt and pain in what you wrote. I agree wholeheartedly with Set Free. Leave that place of bondage and don’t look back. God loves you and would never send you to hell since you’re his child. That pastor is a bully who is using fear and lies to manipulate you and he’ll continue to abuse you as long as you remain under his control. You’re in great danger if you stay there so please leave immediately. God has set you free but you have to take the first step to live free.
And the only reason I go through this all without murmuring a word is that I don't want to offend God. There are times when I feel that I fear my pastor more than my God, which is wrong. I love my God and I know he loves me too. And I don't know if it would be right on my side to just leave the pastor and walk away. Or should it be that he should release me with blessings (which I don't see in the near future). I don't know what's right. I know for sure that his controlling and spiritual abuse is not right.
Also last week he forced us to get into a covenant that we'll all stay together and obey the Godly authority above us etc some points. Before he asked us to participate in the covenant he said if anybody wants to leave they can leave. And he threatened that anybody who does not participate in the covenant would have a very bad future and he would have a tough time throughout his life time and that it would be equivalent of choosing to go to hell. In short he had left no other option than to participate in the covenant. Now I don't know how genuine is the covenant as it was a forced one. He threatened us to participate in it. Though one of the points is that if anybody breaks the covenant he'll be judged by God's word.
I'm sure that God knows in what situation did we have to sign that covenant. Anyway I just know that I love my lord and he loves me too.
Please pray :(
--
woundedWarrior
To wounded warrior,
I emailed you back, but not sure you received it because I haven't heard back. I just want to tell you that you are not going to offend God and I know He doesn't want you to fear a man. Your pastor's threats are wrong! He is not God and He has no right to tell you that you will have a bad future. He is not your judge and he cannot tell you that you will go to hell. God is not looking to judge you, he sees your heart and knows you want to please Him. I pray that you will take courage and take back control of your life and get away from this pastor and fast as you can.
Wounded Warrior, I trust that you will be able to get up and leave this abusive place. The others who have posted here are right; the pastor's threats are wrong and you need to break away from him and his influence.
I have attended a church with my family for the past 14 years. Very small, only about 40 members. During much of that time we were without a pastor; not an ideal situation, but God enabled us to go through that time working together as a team, and meeting each others' needs. A few years ago, a pastor was called. Lots of mistakes were made in calling him (no references ever asked for to start with), and he has developed into a manipulative, controlling, horrible shepherd of the sheep. Last May I resigned my membership because he told me that "there is no one over me and the elders of this church." Because my husband didn't resign, I continued to attend services. After all, I have 14 years worth of friends there, and this is a very small town, so I don't want to look for another place to worship.
Because of work, we travel a bit, and were gone for six months. Instead of building up the church and moving on with life during our absence, this pastor and the elders plotted what they would do with/to us when we returned. Yesterday we met with them. To my shock, they are now ordering me to rejoin the church. But to do this, I have to write a letter where I ask forgiveness of the congregation for making them discouraged by withdrawing my membership last year. When I said I didn't think that was the right thing to do, they told me that I may attend church on Sunday mornings only, but I may not attend any other fellowship meetings at church, no prayer meeting, ladies' meetings, no church social gatherings. And, because the pastor is not happy with me, I may not take communion either.
So, I am very sad to say this, but we will have to find another place to worship. We cannot allow ourselves to be bullied by a pastor and his cronies who are just hirelings for the sheep.
Wounded warrior. rest assured that anything or anyone that says God is ever going to be angry with you again is a liar, it is a complete lie. God was angry with Jesus on the cross when He took the worlds sin. His anger was completely exhausted, there is none left. have you heard of joseph prince? nothing that promotes or produces fear is ever from God. He is love, and love casts out every fear. Peace to you!
It is good to have a trusted pastor in another city or state who you can consult with. Also, find a minister online, radio, or tv (just be careful) who feeds you spiritually.
Isolation is a controlling technique - we need to be able to tell false teachers like Jim Jones, "Have a good trip, be sure and send me a postcard".
Also, let the Holy Spirit guide you in scriptures -
Post a Comment