Tuesday, July 8, 2008

It Takes Time

I hope the links to the articles and videos have been a help to you. I know when I was first beginning to question (and even now) it helped me so much to read everything I could find that showed me I was not alone. I have been so surprised to see how many people have been hurt by controlling churches.

I heard a great analogy the other day from a friend that I want to share with you. "The Bible says in Luke 4:18, "...Jesus came to heal the broken hearted and to set at liberty them that are bruised." He was not talking about an outer, physical bruise. He was talking about an internal bruise that caused hurt. A bruise comes about because of a hard blow and it takes time to go away. Some people say "just get over it" but there are hurts that will take time to heal. The bigger the bruise, the longer it takes to heal. There are many people who have taken blows from controlling church leaders. Some people have been hurt more than others, but Jesus came to set at liberty all that are bruised."

I also want to share a comment that someone left on one of my posts in reference to the healing process after being in an abusive church. "The difference for some people is how badly they were "burned". Maybe those that suffered third degree burns are taking a little more healing time than those who came away with first degree burns. The closer and longer you stay in the fire the greater the degree of pain. Also, there are some scars that will never completely go away. Those that have been able to move on are very fortunate, but they also must continue to understand that there are those who are still suffering everyday. The answers are not sometimes as simple as we want them to be, it will take more time for some than others because of the degree of pain. I pray that I will never appear judgmental to those who are still dealing with the hurt that they have suffered. There are many who are not able to just "get over it." They still have fresh wounds that are very tender and there are some who just now are learning how badly they have been hurt. Praise Him for the healing that He brings daily, because He is the only source of lasting peace."

These two analogies have helped me to understand how it takes time to heal. My heart goes out to all my friends and to the people I don't even know who have been hurt and disillusioned by these types of churches. I have read blogs by people from all over the U.S. and their stories are so similar I can hardly believe it. I know if I am touched by these things so deeply - how much more must God be. Every day is different as I walk through the process. I still have hard days, but I can truly say that it does get easier as time goes by. I am trying intently to follow my heart and keep my focus on what really matters - loving God and loving people. I think about those who are just beginning to see the truth and I want them to know that they have a friend who understands. And even more - Jesus understands. Jesus did come to heal the broken hearted and set at liberty them that are bruised.


Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post. You're right. Like myself, those who have been in a controlling church are trained to think you must "get over it" and show no emotion in the process. Now that I am free to be who God made me to be, I've realized that God did give us emotions. He hurts when we hurt. He knows when we just want to ball up and cry and he doesn't mind if we do. He is right there with us. He will never leave us.

Healing has been a process for me. I have taken steps, and like you, I believe time does help. Honestly, some days the reality of it all hits me like a brick though. There was so much love and trust that I gave, thinking that they had my best interests in mind. It does hurt to find out that it was misplaced trust. Thank God for his healing power! Man will fail you sometimes, but God NEVER will! I am thankful that I am on the healing path and that I am finally in a truly safe place.

Set Free said...

To anonymous,
I know exactly what you mean. It is so wonderful to be who God made me and to know that I don't have to be something I am not to measure up in the eyes of someone else. He loves and accepts us just as we are.

I know God's love more than ever now. I know He has been right there with me as I have made my way through this. I know He hurts when we hurt and He has great compassion for all who are taking steps through the healing process.

I know what you mean when you say some days it hits you like a ton of bricks. I can hear one thing that triggers a thought and just burst into tears. It is just a process. When you have given such a major part of your life to something for so many years, you can't be expected to get over it overnight. But we will make it through because I know God is a good and loving Father to us.

Anonymous said...

This video is awesome. I can feel the presence of God just watching it. It amazes me how God can make His presence felt anywhere when your heart is turned toward Him. Not just in "real church". I love your blog!

barbara said...

It does take time. I want to encourage you to keep opening up and it will get better. Keep trusting God. He will never let you down.