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2008
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July
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- Put Your Trust In God
- God's Unconditional Love
- What Does The Bible Say?
- New Links To Check Out
- Stand Up
- Real Life
- SCARRED
- On a Lighter Note
- The Simple Love of God
- Why Keep Secrets?
- Your Voice Counts
- Trust Injuries
- Where Do We Go From Here?
- Spiritual Traps (Part 2)
- Spiritual Traps (Part 1)
- Life Is Better With Friends
- It's Okay to Question
- It Takes Time
- Helpful Articles
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July
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Helpful Articles
- A Shepherd And His Flock
- A Word of Encouragement For Those Who Are Hurt
- Abuse In The Church: A Biblical Perspective Of Leadership
- Abuse Of Authority In The Church
- Abusive Churches
- Abusive Churches: Leaving Them Behind
- Beyond Accountability
- Breaking Free: What I've Learned About Spiritual Abuse
- Breaking The Silence On Spiritual Abuse (Dynamic Videos On Spiritual Abuse by Jeff VanVonderen
- But God Is Working In Our Church
- Characteristics Of An Unhealthy Church
- Checklist For Responsible Christians
- Checks On Power And Authority In The New Testament
- Controlling Personalities In The Church
- Controlling Personalities In The Church: Manipulation Techniques And Your Defenses
- Controlling Personalities In The Church: Staying Or Going
- Controlling Personalities In The Church: The Difficulty Of Seeing The Problem
- Controlling Personalities In The Church: The Warning Signs
- Dysfunctional Churches
- Egypt, O Egypt
- Eleven Marks Of Perverted Authority
- Five Warning Signs Of An Unhealthy Church
- Healing Spiritual Abuse: How To Break Free From Bad Church Experiences
- How To Spot An Abusive Church
- Identifying Spiritual Abuse
- If It's Not In The Bible, Forget It
- Into The Wild
- Is Your Church A Safe Place?
- It Hurts
- Kingdom Grace (A Series Of Great Articles)
- Leaving A Church And The Grief Process
- Let Nothing Be Wasted
- Narcissism In The Pulpit
- Our Shepherd
- Practicals On Spiritual Recovery
- Real vs. Fake and Spiritual Abuse
- Recovering From Spiritual Abuse (A Helpful Website)
- Recovery From Spiritual Abuse: How You Can Help
- Reveling In The Freedom To Follow
- Scriptural Reasons For Leaving A Church
- Shattered Trust (A Website For Staff Associates)
- Should A Pastor Rule Over You?
- Spiritual Abuse In The Pulpit and Pew
- Spiritual Abuse Profile
- Spiritual Abuse Recovery (When You Are Ready To Try Again: Going Back To Church)
- Stages In Recovery
- The Bible And Spiritual Abuse
- The Heresy Of Mind Control
- The Insidious Harm of Spiritual Abuse
- The Language Of Enslavement
- The Narcissistic Religious Leader
- The Tale Of Four Poplars
- The Yeast Of The Pharisees: Spiritual Abuse By Pastors And Counselors
- Walking Away From Spiritual Abuse
- Warning Signs
- What Is Spiritual Abuse (View This Video)
More Helpful Articles
- A Healthy Church
- Aberrant Christianity
- An Intelligent Faith: "Don't Check Your Brain At The Door"
- Authority - The Most Widely Absued Form of Fear
- Authority and Ministry In the Local Church
- Being Told To "Get Over It and Move On!"
- Beware of Spiritual Abuse
- Church Leaders and Honorific Titles
- Churchianity - An Insult To Christ
- Dealing With Manilpulative People
- Eight Distinctives Of An Aberational Group
- False Leaders
- Fear and Guilt: Recovering From Performance-Based Relationships
- How Can I Discern Whether I am In a Healty or Abusive Fellowship
- How Can We Recognize Spiritual Abuse?
- How Spiritual Abuse Redefines Love
- How To Discern Spiritual Abuse
- How To Recognize A Controlling Person
- Identifying A Cult
- Learning To Say "No"
- Leaving The Spiritually Abusive System - The Withdrawal Stages
- Legalism
- Nuts And Bolts Of Spiritual Abuse
- Re-imagining Success In Ministry
- Recovery From Spiritual Abuse
- Recovery Issues
- Relationship Checklist
- Responsible Spiritual Leadership
- Setting Boundaries
- Shepherding God's Flock: The Abuse Of Authority By Leadership
- Signed: Deep Pain (A Personal Story)
- Signs Of Spiritual Abuse
- Spiritual Abuse Recovery
- Spiritual Abuse Survey
- Spiritual Identity Crisis?
- Stress Making Churches
- The Code Of Silence (A Must Read)
- The Path of Freedom
- The Plague Of Counterfeit Leaders
- The Power Abusers
- The Road To The Right Conclusions
- The Warning Signs of Toxic Religion
- "They Told Me If I Left..."
- Toxic Faith
- Uncovering And Facing Spiritual Abuse
- Warning Signs of Spiritual Abuse - (Part 1)
- Warning Signs of Spiritual Abuse - (Part 2)
- Warning Signs of Spiritual Abuse - (Part 3)
- What Happens If Your Pastor Is Narcissistic?
- What Is Spiritual Abuse?
- What Language Does Your Church Speak?
- What Makes A Religious Group A Cult?
- When Has Authority Gone Too Far?
- When To Leave....Think It Over
New Articles
- Behind The Bars: Life In A Toxic Community Of Faith
- Beware Of Wolves: You Shall Know Them By Their Fruits
- Biderman's Chart Of Coercion
- Controlling Relationships
- Dealing With Manipulative People
- Dealing With Manipulators
- Defining Spiritual Abuse (A Collection Of Articles From The Blog "Under Much Grace")
- Definition Of An Abusive Group
- Finding True Friends In Christ
- How Cults Work
- How To Deal With Sociopaths
- Identifying A Manipulator
- Manipulative People: How To Deal With Them
- Narcissism And The Dynamics Of Evil
- Narcissistic Behavior
- Profile Of A Sociopath
- Profiling The Narcissist
- Spiritual Abuse
- Ten Signs Of Spiritual Abuse
- The Con Artist Pastor
- The Mask Of A Sociopath
- The Psychopath: The Mask Of Sanity
- Three Poisons For Love: Manipulation, Intimidation, And Domination
- Voices From The Fringe
- What's Happening To My Church?
Online Books
I Recommend This DVD
God's Love
Wikipedia Links
Helpful Study Links
Blogs I Visit
Books I Recommend
Websites I Visit
"True feedom is having nothing to prove." -Mark Batterson
"Spread love everywhere you go: First of all in your own home. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting."
- Mother Teresa
"I shall pass through this world but once. Any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." - Henry Drummond
"There is nothing the Father desires for you more than that you fall squarely in the lap of His love and never move from that place for the rest of your life." - Jake Colsen
"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and the strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these." - George Washington Carver
- Mother Teresa
"I shall pass through this world but once. Any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." - Henry Drummond
"There is nothing the Father desires for you more than that you fall squarely in the lap of His love and never move from that place for the rest of your life." - Jake Colsen
"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and the strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these." - George Washington Carver
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7 comments :
Just read "Is your Church a Safe Place?". In regards to my former church I answered yes to all 12.
If you are still there, RUN.
I wish someone had provided me this information years ago, and I wish that I would have listened. If I had I would have saved my family much pain. Spiritual, emotional and physical pain. I pray that the truth will be shown and that many will listen and get to a safe place.
When I read the article on Narcissism in the Pulpit I could not believe how accurate it is in describing the personality of a controlling pastor. If you know a man like this then you need to move to a safe place, because you will never win in this type of environment. The only thing that will remain constant in this type of church is that the pastor will never change. Even when you think that you see change it is only for a short time, so that he can pull others closer into his control. Watch out you WILL get burned.
Nice to see you back Set Free. Here is another resource that you might find helpful. It is from the same person that the marks of a true pastor came from. Go to www.9marks.org and look for the nine marks of a healthy church, the nine marks overview.
Hope you find this helpful.
Jimmy
To anonymous,
I agree - RUN! You will be so glad you did.
To gf,
I too wish I would have had this information years ago. I had no idea there was so much info out there and that there were so many people who had been in these same situations. It's sad that so many people all over the world have ended up in a hurtful place that they thought was safe. I have learned that I must keep my focus on what really matters in life - loving God and loving people. (I'm glad you understand my phrase so well.)
To Jimmy,
Thanks for the info! You seem to be the type of person who really wants to help others see the truth and find healing from hurtful situations.
I just read the recommended article on Narcissism in the Pulpit. It is frightening that there are "spiritual leaders" out there that have the characteristics listed, but when you see it in black and white, there really is no denying it. If you know someone like this--stop making excuses for him. The reality is that He will not change--especially if he still has people to support him and feed his ego. I strongly suggest stepping back and finding a place with a humble, anointed leader. You won't be sorry.
I have read several of the articles and due to a lack of time I would have read more. Thank you for helping put this information out to those of us that are still there. I must say it is very scary when you see this and don't know what to do about it. The easy answer is just to leave. . . I wish it were that easy. But as most of you know it is not because you have been here before. I was watching an amish special the other day and for the first time ever I could actually relate to those struggling with the decision to stay or go. It too was frightening the similarities. But I would have never thought that before. I would have taken one look at that and thought how could they not see how wrong that some of those teachings are and the way they are controlled. All the while not realizing I was in a similar situation. Thanks for the links. I want to read some more when I have the time. Keep on keepin on!
To anonymous,
I know exactly how hard it is and I do understand that it is not easy to leave a place you have given so much of your life to. In the beginning when you start to see the truth it is scary because for years it has been ingrained in you that you cannot leave. But have you noticed how free you start to feel when you start realizing the truth? Keep reading the articles and asking questions. I encourage you to write your questions down and get your answers. Take your Bible and begin to read it as if it were the first time you have ever read it. Lay aside the way you think it is because of all the teaching you've had and just let God show you what He is really saying. God's heartbeat is love and people, not money and stuff. He wants us to have all of that, but that is not what will fulfill us and give us true happiness. Loving God and loving people is where it's at. I hope you find the courage to get to a place of true freedom. It sounds like you are starting to see. You will be amazed at how much more you will see as you continue to let God show you the truth. Let me tell you now that the thoughts will come that all of this is wrong and you just need to stay where you are and quit questioning, but follow your heart. Don't push the questions aside - they are there to lead you to the way of truth.
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