I have found myself caught in the web of manipulation a few times in my life and I am determined to never find myself there again. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to see if you are dealing with a manipulator.....
1. Does this person always play the role of the victim? Do this person believe he/she can "do no wrong?" Is it always someone else's fault?
2. Does this person often get angry and throw temper tantrums? Have you felt threatened during this person's angry outbursts?
3. Does this person try to make you feel guilty when you have done nothing wrong?
4. Does this person try to confuse your thinking in order to get you to do what they want? Does it seem as if it is a game to them? Have you ever wondered if this person has actually researched how to manipulate people?
5. Does this person pivot off of lies? Have you noticed that everything this person says is tainted with untruths? Even if you don't realize it at the moment, do you eventually see that this person seems to lie about everything? Do you basically dismiss everything this person says?
6. Does this person try to divert your attention from the truth? Would you identify him/her as an expert liar? Does this person talk in circles?
7. Is it always "all about them?"
8. Do you find yourself doing things you really wish you hadn't? Does this person try to get you outside your comfort zone, because then they can pull your string and get one over on you? Do you often feel agitated after being around this person?
9. Is this person very insecure? Do they talk about themselves and try to build themselves up? Have you noticed that this person subtly puts you down?
10. Does this person try to get you to cut off your support systems so he/she can gain dominance over you? Do they act sweet and innocent in front of you, while they talk about you behind your back?
11. Does this person make promises to change, but never follow through? (It is very rare that a manipulator makes any changes.)
12. Have you always had a question about this person in the back of your mind?
If you answered yes to most of these questions, then you are dealing with a manipulator. In most cases manipulators will not change. You need to be alert and very aware of who you are dealing with. It is easy to forget and allow yourself to fall back into their trap, so keep your guard up.
(If you found this post to be helpful, you may also want to read The Manipulators Behavior Defined and Dealing With Manipulative People.)