Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Are You Dealing With A Manipulator?

I have found myself caught in the web of manipulation a few times in my life and I am determined to never find myself there again. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to see if you are dealing with a manipulator.....

1. Does this person always play the role of the victim? Do this person believe he/she can "do no wrong?" Is it always someone else's fault?

2. Does this person often get angry and throw temper tantrums? Have you felt threatened during this person's angry outbursts?

3. Does this person try to make you feel guilty when you have done nothing wrong?

4. Does this person try to confuse your thinking in order to get you to do what they want? Does it seem as if it is a game to them? Have you ever wondered if this person has actually researched how to manipulate people?

5. Does this person pivot off of lies? Have you noticed that everything this person says is tainted with untruths? Even if you don't realize it at the moment, do you eventually see that this person seems to lie about everything? Do you basically dismiss everything this person says?

6. Does this person try to divert your attention from the truth? Would you identify him/her as an expert liar? Does this person talk in circles?

7. Is it always "all about them?"

8. Do you find yourself doing things you really wish you hadn't? Does this person try to get you outside your comfort zone, because then they can pull your string and get one over on you? Do you often feel agitated after being around this person?

9. Is this person very insecure? Do they talk about themselves and try to build themselves up? Have you noticed that this person subtly puts you down?

10. Does this person try to get you to cut off your support systems so he/she can gain dominance over you? Do they act sweet and innocent in front of you, while they talk about you behind your back?

11. Does this person make promises to change, but never follow through? (It is very rare that a manipulator makes any changes.)

12. Have you always had a question about this person in the back of your mind?

If you answered yes to most of these questions, then you are dealing with a manipulator. In most cases manipulators will not change. You need to be alert and very aware of who you are dealing with. It is easy to forget and allow yourself to fall back into their trap, so keep your guard up.

(If you found this post to be helpful, you may also want to read The Manipulators Behavior Defined and Dealing With Manipulative People.)


Kay said...

I was in a relationship like this and I felt hopeless. She refused to believe that any of the problem was her. It was really hard, but I had to make the decision to stay away from her as much as I could.

Anonymous said...

Yes! I answered yes to all the questions! I guess I'm dealing with a manipulator.

Anonymous said...

I answered yes to 99% of these questions and I am devastated because I have been ignoring the signs for too long. I have spent so much time, energy, and money trying to support and be there for this person. I truly need help being able to leave this person who is slowly destroying my life. If anyone is out there praying, please pray for Anonymous in California.

Set Free said...

Manipulators take and take and they have no remorse for the way they treat people. You cannot have a genuine, true relationship with a person like this because they have nothing to give back. It will destroy you little by little and for your own well being you must be strong and take your life back. Don't ignore the signs! The red flags are there for a reason and I believe you have found your answer if you answered yes to all the quesions.

Anonymous said...

Im wondering at the moment if I am dealing with this kind of person. If the pure fact I am googling this isnt enough for me just shows how much they have succeeded already. I think I know my answer now.

Arsena Schroeder said...

Yes, this blog was very helpful. Thank you. :)

Anonymous said...

I'm going through a headache with one of those tactless puppeteers that attempted to Defraud me out of who I am as an individual. She sounded identical to a girl with an identity problem herself that was guilt tripping me. I came face to face with her on this nonsense she was talking about and then attempted to weasel out by claiming to forget (at least from what I can perceive) about that horseshit of advice she gave me.

Anonymous said...

Yes I am dealing with a person like this and its finally time to walk away. I have a child with this person and was hopeful he would change but after reading this and noticing im not the person I use to be,its time to get my life back!!!!! Tjanks for the info.

Anonymous said...

I recently had to get away from someone like this too. Guess all comes down to our decisions.

Anonymous said...

It is wrong for ppl to think they can do this to others. I
Glad and happy I finally got out. It was not easy still care but guess need to really care for yourself on what is good for you.