January is Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month. I'm glad to know that there are people out there trying to raise the awareness of this travesty that affects so many lives.
Dr. Barb Orlowski has compiled a list of spiritual abuse blogs and websites. Barb looked at over 130 sites and picked the best of the bunch. These sites provide insights into people's lives and experience of spiritual abuse. Some of them may speak to you more than others, but you can pick the ones that are your personal favorites.
I have linked the sites for you, so all you have to do is click on the title.
*Church Exiters
*Setting The Captives Free
*Pure Provender
*Futurist Guy
*Spiritual Abuse In the Church
*Spiritual Abuse
*Christian Survivors
*The Hope Of Survivors
*Kingdom Grace
*Battered Sheep
*Spiritual Abuse Recovery resources
*The National Association Of Christian Recovery
*Recovery From Abuse
*VM Life Resources
*The Wartburg Watch
*Church Abuse
*John Mark Ministries
*Apologetics Index
*Stop Spiritual Abuse
*Reflections On Spiritual Abuse
*Rick Ross Institute
*Wittenberg Gate
*The Barnabas Ministry
*Word Of Faith Recovery Forum
*Ministry From Two Poles
*Ruby's Emporium
*Wicked Shepherds
*We Survived Abuse
*Spiritual Abuse Sanctuary
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Are You Dealing With A Manipulator?
I have found myself caught in the web of manipulation a few times in my life and I am determined to never find myself there again. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to see if you are dealing with a manipulator.....
1. Does this person always play the role of the victim? Do this person believe he/she can "do no wrong?" Is it always someone else's fault?
2. Does this person often get angry and throw temper tantrums? Have you felt threatened during this person's angry outbursts?
3. Does this person try to make you feel guilty when you have done nothing wrong?
4. Does this person try to confuse your thinking in order to get you to do what they want? Does it seem as if it is a game to them? Have you ever wondered if this person has actually researched how to manipulate people?
5. Does this person pivot off of lies? Have you noticed that everything this person says is tainted with untruths? Even if you don't realize it at the moment, do you eventually see that this person seems to lie about everything? Do you basically dismiss everything this person says?
6. Does this person try to divert your attention from the truth? Would you identify him/her as an expert liar? Does this person talk in circles?
7. Is it always "all about them?"
8. Do you find yourself doing things you really wish you hadn't? Does this person try to get you outside your comfort zone, because then they can pull your string and get one over on you? Do you often feel agitated after being around this person?
9. Is this person very insecure? Do they talk about themselves and try to build themselves up? Have you noticed that this person subtly puts you down?
10. Does this person try to get you to cut off your support systems so he/she can gain dominance over you? Do they act sweet and innocent in front of you, while they talk about you behind your back?
11. Does this person make promises to change, but never follow through? (It is very rare that a manipulator makes any changes.)
12. Have you always had a question about this person in the back of your mind?
If you answered yes to most of these questions, then you are dealing with a manipulator. In most cases manipulators will not change. You need to be alert and very aware of who you are dealing with. It is easy to forget and allow yourself to fall back into their trap, so keep your guard up.
(If you found this post to be helpful, you may also want to read The Manipulators Behavior Defined and Dealing With Manipulative People.)
1. Does this person always play the role of the victim? Do this person believe he/she can "do no wrong?" Is it always someone else's fault?
2. Does this person often get angry and throw temper tantrums? Have you felt threatened during this person's angry outbursts?
3. Does this person try to make you feel guilty when you have done nothing wrong?
4. Does this person try to confuse your thinking in order to get you to do what they want? Does it seem as if it is a game to them? Have you ever wondered if this person has actually researched how to manipulate people?
5. Does this person pivot off of lies? Have you noticed that everything this person says is tainted with untruths? Even if you don't realize it at the moment, do you eventually see that this person seems to lie about everything? Do you basically dismiss everything this person says?
6. Does this person try to divert your attention from the truth? Would you identify him/her as an expert liar? Does this person talk in circles?
7. Is it always "all about them?"
8. Do you find yourself doing things you really wish you hadn't? Does this person try to get you outside your comfort zone, because then they can pull your string and get one over on you? Do you often feel agitated after being around this person?
9. Is this person very insecure? Do they talk about themselves and try to build themselves up? Have you noticed that this person subtly puts you down?
10. Does this person try to get you to cut off your support systems so he/she can gain dominance over you? Do they act sweet and innocent in front of you, while they talk about you behind your back?
11. Does this person make promises to change, but never follow through? (It is very rare that a manipulator makes any changes.)
12. Have you always had a question about this person in the back of your mind?
If you answered yes to most of these questions, then you are dealing with a manipulator. In most cases manipulators will not change. You need to be alert and very aware of who you are dealing with. It is easy to forget and allow yourself to fall back into their trap, so keep your guard up.
(If you found this post to be helpful, you may also want to read The Manipulators Behavior Defined and Dealing With Manipulative People.)
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